The Gundanium Brick Road
by Anime Chicks
Summary: "Sandrock, I don't think we're in Arabia anymore." The Gundam Pilots end up in, youguessed it, the wonderful land of OZ!
1. Part 1

The Gundaniam Brick Road 

Hi everybody, I'm Mirax Terrik, the prettiest girl in the world.   
AMPRIS YUY: NO you're not. I am, and everybody knows it.   
MIRAX: Shut up, baka. Anyway, none of this stuff belongs to us and blah blah blah blah… but   
it is very, very, VERY humorous so please read it and then worship us like the goddesses that we are.   
AMPRIS: This is a make believe story an-   
MIRAX: Obviosly.   
AMPRIS: As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by my friend (Gives Mirax The Heero-Glare-of-Death), this is all totally make believe and comes from the   
weird and twisted minds of two schizophrenic, adolescent, hopelessly lost girls.   
MIRAX: So, to start things off, let's introduce the cast.   
ALL GW PILOTS: Why have you kidnapped us and brought us here?   
MIRAX: Well boys, you see we're really obsessed with you all.   
AMPRIS: Especially with Heero. (moves a little closer to Heero)   
HEERO: Omae o koruso.   
MIRAX: O-kaa-y. Well, anyway, to start our leading role, the female heroine Dorothy is to be played by none other than our beloved Gundam pilot… Quatre!   
QUATRE: Noooooooooo! Why do I have to play the female part?   
DUO: Because, buddy, you're the most feminine of us all.   
WUFEI: Yeah, stupid onna.   
QUATRE: (to Duo) YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE LONG GIRLY HAIR!!   
DUO: (weeping) Why'd you have to go and hurt my feelings like that?   
QUATRE: I'm sorry Duo, I…I didn't mean it, honest.   
DUO: (aside) Ha ha, gets him every time.   
AMPRIS: Well, if we could please get back to the casting proceed-   
QUATRE: (interrupting) I don't have to wear a skirt, do I?   
MIRAX: Oh, no Quatra, not if you don't want to.   
AMPRIS: I think he should.   
MIRAX: Leave my Noble in the Desert alone. (To Quatre) You don't have to wear a skirt, but Heero, as the Tin Man you have to wear a large metal trashcan.   
HEERO: Anyone who dresses me up has a date with his…oh, sorry, her maker.   
DUO: Hey man, that's my line!   
MIRAX: Not in this show Duo. Today you're the Cowardly Lion. We get to spiral curl your hair into a mane. (trying hard not to laugh)   
AMPRIS: And you have to wear a kitty suit. (smiling evilly)   
DUO: Sweet! I've always wondered how I'd look with curly…(notices all gazes directed towards him)…uh, I mean… I mean… Uh…   
(All stare at Duo in a frightened manner)   
DUO: I was just curious, okay! Don't judge me!!   
TROWA: …fag…   
(Duo runs away crying)   
AMPRIS: You have no room to talk Trowa. You're going to be the brainless, or memoryless, Scarecrow.   
TROWA: …   
MIRAX: Well you are the thinnest one.   
TROWA: Shut up, I know I have an eating disorder. It's genetic okay. I mean look at Catherine.   
MIRAX: Point taken. And last but not least, Wufei gets the part of the Wicked Witch of the West.   
AMPRIS: And YOU have to wear a skirt.   
MIRAX: So you can get more in touch with your feminine side.   
(Mirax and Ampris look at each other gleefully)   
WUFEI: What the #*^%!!!!!!!!   
MIRAX: Now Wufei, if you're going to be in our fanfiction you can't use that kind of language.   
WUFEI: Shut up onnas. $#*&!!!!!!!! %@**>!!!! Son of a %#*^~!!!!!!!   
AMPRIS: all right, that is IT buddy! I'm TIRED of having to bleep you out!   
Into the skirt! (walks menacingly toward Wufei with a black dress. Mirax holds him from behind while Ampris forces it on him.)   
WUFEI: INJUSTICE!!!!!!!   
(All others laugh hysterically)   
HEERO: You make such a pretty cross dresser.   
WUFEI: Shut up Yuy! Nataku will stomp you into the ground. NATAKU!!!!   
AMPRIS: Sorry Wufei. We put the club on him. You'll get no help from your Gundam this time.   
WUFEI: * Blast * all of you! Hey wait, what happened? That's not what I meant to say.   
AMPRIS: Yeah, well we had to take out the vulgarity. Sorry.   
WUFEI: INJUSTICE!!!!!!   
IIIIIINNNJJUUUUUUUUSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIICCEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
MIRAX: anyway ON WITH THE STORY (whispering aside) can someone please go find Duo? 

OTHER DRAMATIS PERSONAE   
Wizard of OZ: Treize (who else)   
Good Witch: Noin   
Wicked Witch of the East: Relena (Sorry. Ampris likes Heero a lot, so we had to   
get rid of her)   
Todo: Sandrock   
Munchkins: Maguanac Corps   
Mayor of Munchkin City: Rashid (We know it's a stretch, but go with us here)   
Flying Monkeys: Scientists and Howard   
Mayor of Platinum City: Zechs   


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Behind the scenes… 

MIRAX: Whoo! We finally got everyone into their costumes.   
AMPRIS: Yeah, I mean that was tough strapping down Wufei to get all that makeup on him.   
MIRAX: And I don't know what the big fuss was all about. I thought he looked very pretty.   
AMPRIS: Man, it was really tough to get Duo's costume done.   
MIRAX: Yeah, I don't think he really liked it when we put all those bows in his hair.   
AMPRIS: And all the others were running around in circles calling him a little sissy boy.   
(they laugh)   
MIRAX: But we sure shut Heero up when we slammed that metal trashcan down over his head,   
(they laugh harder)   
MIRAX: Man, if Sailor Earth ever finds out what we did to Duo…   
AMPRIS: I'll bet she'd kick our a-   
Suddenly a thundering voice is heard from behind the sets.   
SAILOR EARTH: You did WHAT to my Shinigami!?!   
MIRAX: Well, speak of the psycho Duo worshipper.   
AMPRIS: Hey Sailor Earth. How are things?   
EARTH: Until you get those ribbons OUT of Duo's hair, I REFUSE to leave   
this fanfiction!   
MIRAX: Okay! Okay! We'll take them out! Just as long as you leave!   
AMPRIS: Oh Duo, be a dear and come here a sec, would you.   
Duo walks up. You can still see the tearstains running down his chubby   
Cheeks.   
EARTH: They are NOT chubby!   
DUO: …sniff…sniff…what do you guys want now? You're not going to make me dress   
in drag like Wufei are you?   
AMPRIS: Hey, now that's a great idea…   
EARTH: Don't even think about it! Now would you please take out those ribbons?   
DUO: Yay!   
AMPRIS: Shut up, you.   
They proceed to disen-ribbon (we made that word up!) Duo.   
MIRAX: There! Now leave, Sailor Earth!   
EARTH: Haha. I'm not going anywhere! I'm staying to make sure you don't   
do anything horrible to Duo.   
MIRAX & AMPRIS: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
################################################################>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>   
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^   
(Ampris got carried away)   


A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…   
  
Wait, wrong movie.   


On a lonely battlefield somewhere in the deserts of Arabia… 

QUATRE: Hey, Heero look to port. What's that big thing coming towards us?   
HEERO: How should I know idiot? You're the Arabian one, you tell me.   
QUATRE: Oh, … yeah.   
TROWA: …genius…   
QUATRE: (hurt) Hey, I heard that.   
DUO: So Quatra, what is it? It doesn't look like more Virgo's coming to fight us.   
(We are treated with a shot of Nataku gleefully jumping up and down on destroyed Virgo suits.)   
QUATRE: Ah curse words. It's a gigantic sandstorm.   
WUFEI: Oh nut bunnies! And I just waxed Nataku.   
DUO: (Laughing hysterically) Oh my God… you-you actually wax your Gundam!   
HEERO: (Not even cracking a smile) Yeah Wufei, that does sound a little   
prissy.   
  
Suddenly all the Gundams are engulfed in a massive sheet/storm (sorry, we   
disagreed on that one) of sand. Quatre, caught unawares because he is laughing   
at Wufei, hits his head against the side of his cockpit. When he comes to he   
sees swirling dust all around him. Out his viewport is a rather large black   
and white cow, seemingly just flying through the air. 

QUATRE: What is this, the movie Twister?   
The flying cow is replaced by a black-garbed Relena riding a bicycle and   
wailing "HEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOO!!!!!   
QUATRE: …?   
Suddenly, Sandrock comes to a complete stop, and a crunching sound is heard.   
Quatre slowly opens the cockpit hatch and looks around.   
QUATRE: Sandrock, I don't think we're in Arabia anymore. 

Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Dragonba… ahh…um… ahhh of Gundam   
Wa… ait. Um…weeell…I uh… guess…the-the next part. (aside: Is there going to be   
a next part? "YES!" ) Well okay, then stay tuned for…something,…anything.   
  
We kind of ran out of caffeine and sugar at this point, so please forgive us,   
and PLEASE review!   
  
  



	2. Part 2

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hi everyone. Mirax, here. The next part of G.B.R. is finally here. Sorry it took so long. We went to band camp (yes, band camp) and had trouble getting together. Another bit of news, Ampris is now Ryoko. Don't ask. I did, and I regretted it. Anyway. We are now the Anime Chicks because everyone at band camp called us that. So enjoy the fic.

The Gundanium Brick Road, part 2

By the Anime Chicks

Quatre lowers himself to the ground by that little black thingy that they all use (sorry, we don't know what it's called). He looks around in wonder at all the greenery around him.

QUATRE: I haven't seen this much plant life since I wondered into Zechs' flower garden. (From behind the curtain Zechs' voice can be heard: "Hey! … You weren't suppose to know about that!!") Quat rolls his eyes.

Suddenly, Quatre gets the feeling that he is being watched. There is a rustle from behind a patch of ferns as he spied a sunglass-adorned face poking out from behind the leaves.

QUATRE: Hey Abdul, what are you doing here?

ABDUL: (comes out kneeling, walking on his knees) Master Quatre… (looks around nervously) It's a play… I'm a munchkin… remember?

QUATRE: Oh… yeah… I get it.

(Behind the scenes all three writers slap their foreheads simultaneously.) 

All of the rest of the Maguanacs a.k.a. munchkins come out from the various greenery. All are on their knees. They all form a circle around a very confused Quatre. From the edge of the crowd, a small litter approaches. It is accompanied by a fanfare of trumpets. All of a sudden, the trumpets break into the main chorus of "Livin' La Vida Loca." Abdul starts to dance, not an easy feat when on his knees, and starts to sing a la Ricky Martin.

ABDUL: She'll make you take your clothes off…

Rashid unfolds himself from the tiny litter and stands at his full height in front of "Dorothy." Haha…

ABDUL: …and go dancing in the rain…

RASHID: Hello there, Master Qu— I mean Dorothy, welcome to Munchkin City. I am the Mayor.

ABDUL: …She'll make you live the crazy life…

(By now the trumpets have stopped playing and everyone is getting slightly, okay majorly peeved a Abdul's a capello singing.)

QUATRE: But Rahid, I mean Mayor, aren't you just…. well…. You're a little too tall for a "munchkin," aren't you?

RASHID: (haughtily) I was adopted. (Actually, Rashid didn't feel like standing on his knees. Hey, do YOU want to try to make him? Didn't think so.)

ABDUL: …And she'll take away your pain, Like a bullet through your brain…

RASHID: I wish somebody would put a bullet through _his_ brain. 

TROWA: (from off stage) Gladly!!!! (Hurls a Bucket of Colonel Sanders Extra Crispy Chicken at the merry midget. As an after thought, he also throws a side of Buffalo Wings. Both hit the dancing dwarf in the face. Abdul immediately starts hogging down the chicken.)

TROWA: That shut him up. I never liked Ricky Martin anyway.

QUATRE: Hey! What's that up there?

(A small object is floating down out of the blue sky surrounded by a pink bubble.)

QUATRE: It sort of looks like an Aries in a fruffy pink tutu. Trowafairy??**(explanation will be given at the end)

RASHID: Well, aren't you the observant one.

(This comment goes right over Quat's head.)

The object that they are looking at lands and _IS_ actually an Aries in a fruffy pink tutu. 

RASHID: Oh… by …. Allah… those authoressess have done it again.

From the portal of the Aries, Noin pops out NOT wearing a fruffy pink tutu. (Sorry, we couldn't put her in anything fruffy, `cause she'd go buck wild and seriously prod some buttock.)

QUATRE: Miss Noin! What are you doing here?

NOIN: Oh God! ….Quatre….aaagh!

RASHID: (leans down ,way down) Masta Quatre, please stick to the stupid script!

QUATRE: oooooohhhhhh…….yeah? Okay.

EARTH: What a dumb blond!! 

RYOKO and MIRAX: Okay, hello! You're a blond, too!!

EARTH: Yeah, well. "And now back to…. athe rest of the story."

NOIN: Are you a gay Gundam pilot or a straight Gundam pilot?

QUATRE: Uh… Noin?….. why are you asking me that? You know I'm going out with Dorothy.

NOIN: Um….aren't….. aren't you…..aren't you Dorothy?

RYOKO: SCRIPT!

NOIN: (deadpan voice) I really don't feel like being here, so I'll give you the run down. Ya landed on the Wicked Witch of the East, Relena.

(Heero runs out from behind the scenes, behind everyone else, and starts doing a Bevis and Buthead dance. Every one else is oblivious, so he keeps on. Finally, Ryoko has to come out and restrain him, all the while cursing in five different languages.)

QUATRE: I didn't mean to. What have I don—

NOIN: (interrupting) Quatre, nobody cares. Everybody's happy. Let's all rejoice. (Looks around. Nobody is doing anything.) I said REJOICE!!!

All the Maguanacs give a half-hearted cheer. Abdul starts in with the chorus of "Livin La Vida Loca" again. Noin gives him a fierce glare, and he stops abruptly. 

NOIN: (rolls her eyes and turns back to Quatre) Okay. Go get the stupid teacup.

QUATRE: (gives confused look) Teacup? What teacup? I have plenty of teacups.

NOIN: uhhhhhh……migraines…. Quatre, the RUBY teacup! Over there. The one in the **late** Relena's hand. 

MIRAX: Noin, could you please try to stick to the script just a—

NOIN: (interrupting again) Script?! I don't have time for the fraggin' script!! I have to make out with Zechs in five minut— (Noin breaks off and looks embarrassed.)

ZECHS: _Noin_

NOIN: (finds something very interesting to look at on the floor) Quatre, just go get the teacup.

So he does, but gets a little squeamish when he has to pry it from Relena's cold, dead fingers. As Quatre rejoins Noin, there is a puff of smoke and light. Coughing is heard. "My lungs are weak." Noin gets a condescending look on her face.

NOIN: Well. Like _that_ doesn't give away who it is.

Then storming out of the smoke is a figure much akin to the Greek Gods. The Shaft theme is playing in the background.

WUFEI: Hey, I'm Chinese. Not Greek. Can you dig it? (looks frustrated) I can't believe they made me say that… (Wufei sees Noin) Oh. So _that_ woman is here.

Quatre knowing that Wufei will be angry says: Hey Wufie Witch! You sure look preddy in that dress. Your shoes just complete the outfit. And those earrings are just stunning.

MIRAX: Earrings?

EARTH: We didn't make him wear earrings.

Ryoko and Heero smile mischievously.

WUFEI: Quatre, just give me the teacup. I'll get it in the end, anyway.

Quatre looks confused and pulls out his script from his vest pocket. He flips to the end.

QUATRE: No, No…. That's not right. It says right here that you get killed by—

RYOKO, EARTH and MIRAX: No Quatre! DON'T GIVE AWAY THE ENDING!!

QUATRE: Ohhh… I guess that would kinda ruin the fanfic, wouldn't it.

RYOKO, EARTH and MIRAX: Yeah, maybe just a little bit!

WUFEI: Okay. That's it. I'm going back to my castle. (starts walking. He didn't feel like using the smoke again.)

HEERO: (off stage) Yeah. His _witch_ castle.

WUFEI: (He stops walking. He is breathing heavily) In…… In….

QUATRE: Maybe it's a gingerbread house. (trys hard not to laugh)

WUFEI: In… In… INNNNNNNNJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSTTTTTIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCEEEEE!!

(Wufei runs the rest of the way to his ::snicker:: _gingerbread_ castle.)

All Maguanacs look at Quat. They start whispering:

MAGUANAC #1: He's got the ruby teacup.

MAGUANAC #2: He's got the ruby teacup.

MAGUANAC #3: Hee's got that there them ruby teacup thing.

****

. . .

MAGUANAC #38: He's got the ruby teacup.

MAGUANAC #39: Livin' la vida loca (Bet you can't guess who that is!)

MAGUANAC #40:He's got the—

QUATRE: I KNOW!! I KNOW I THE STUPID RUBY TEACUP!

RASHID: In case you haven't noticed, Masta Quatre, you have the ruby teacup.

QUATRE: Yes, thank you, Rashid. I had quite noticed that fact.

Quatre realizes that all the Maguanacs are gathered around him in a circle. It parts, and three Maguanacs with Maguanac mobile suit hand puppets walk up singing.

ALL 3 MAGUANACS: We-hee represent…the Maguanac Corps…the Maguanac Corps… We-hee represent the Maguanac Corps… and we wish to welcome you to Maguanac Land.

QUATRE: (stunned) …mommy…

NOIN: Okay, okay. Can we please hurry it up a little. I have to be …somewhere… (sweatdrop) in about one and a half minutes.

(Rashid stands there twiddling his thumbs and whistling until everyone looks at him expectantly.)

RASHID: Huh: Oh! Is it my line? Uhh…Okay…Umm… What's the boy's name again… oh, oh, Dorothy, right? Okay, um well. See that road there? If you want to get back to Arabia, you have to go see the Wizard of Oz.

QUATRE: Hey! That's Treize, isn't it?

RASHID: damn you Quatre for giving it away. Just follow the road until you get to Platinum City, okay?

QUATRE: Okay. I think I understand.

All the Maguanacs gather behind Quatre and break into a rousing chorus of:

ALL MAGUANACS: Follow the Gundanium Brick Road, follow, follow, follow, Follow the Gundanium Brick Road—

QUATRE: Screw skipping! (starts running scared)

SANDROCK: Huh? What? What happened? Oh, Quatre. (runs after his pilot after brushing a few pink flamingoes off his shoulders, which gather to him like flies to a bug zapper.)

So the two go thomping down the Gundanium Brick Road, Sandrock destroying it with his mighty weight.

RASHID: augghh…god… Abdul. Go get the bricklayers again.

End of Part Two.

**A Trowafairy (or trowalilia fair) is a nocturnal, magical being which resides in the darkness underneath Sailor Earth's bed. It is usually garbed in a gauze-like pink dress, which falls right above the knees; its feet are adorned with pink slippers. Attached to the pint-sized fairy's back are two transparent wings. Over its left eye an uni-bang falls gracefully. It can also be identified by its trademark call of "Trowafairy, Trowafairy," which is the only word it can speak. It can occasionally be seen with a large bouquet of lilies. It usually comes out when darkness falls to frighten the smaller of the human species. Regretfully, it can only be seen and heard after enormous amounts of sugar are consumed. 

Actually, that's not the rest of the story. To find out more, or the real Trowafairystory, ask about it in your review or email one of us.

EARTH: Hello! Man, we had too much toast, can't you tell? Cinnamon toast that is, all the more lethal.

RYOKO: Toast is a highly dangerous substance. Did you know that? It really is. Toast should not be consumed on an empty stomach and certainly not in combination with green tea. Not to mention—

BONK

MIRAX: (throws down the toast she hit Ryoko with) She was right about one thing. It _is_ dangerous.

EARTH: Yep.

Ryoko runs crying to Heero.

RYOKO: Wahh!! They hit me Heero!

HEERO: They did what?! (pulls a gun out of his shorts)

EARTH: Um, okay. Uhhh… Hey, we're going to go now. Please Review.

MIRAX: …we're all going to die…


End file.
